Sunday, February 14, 2010

Bounce Bounce Bounce


Do you believe in fate?

When i was about 11 i went to the states fair with some friends. There they had a concessions stand with something called The Grab Bag. Outside of it was a poster exclaiming, "test your luck with The Grab Bag! Win valuable prizes! Only $1." One by one each of my friends paid a dollar and reached into the Grab Bag.

One boy pulled out a Farrah Fawcett poster. A girl pulled out a charm bracelet. Another boy pulled out candy. Then it was my turn. When i reached into The Grab Bag i could tell that the prizes were either bags full of something or things rolled like posters.

Now i really wanted that Farrah Fawcett poster so i grabbed one of the tubes. Pulling it out i removed the rubber band and unrolled my prize.
It was an iron-on decal that said in cheesy letters: BOUNCE BOUNCE BOUNCE.

I was devastated. All of my friends started giggling "bounce, bounce, bounce" under their breath. I looked up at the man with the ZZ Top beard running the stand and begged him to let me try for another prize. He looked down at me with pitty and said, "sure son, that's not going to do you any good."

I handed him the decal and reached in again, desperate to pull out the sexy photo of Farrah Fawcett. What should be staring at my again as i opened up the roll: none other then the words BOUNCE BOUNCE BOUNCE.



Now my friends were laughing out loud at me. "All right son, " the carny said to me, "I'll give you one last chance. Maybe you should try one of the bags. They've got stuff like candy inside them." But I had to have that poster.

As I reached in my friends were now chanting rhythmically behind me, "bounce! bounce! bounce! bounce! bounce! bounce!" i spent a long time feeling around inside the Grab Bag trying to find that magical poster. The longer i felt around the louder their chanting became. "All right son, it's time to pick one." And with that I finally pulled out my prize and unrolled it like a town crier:

BOUNCE
BOUNCE
BOUNCE


My friends all buckled over with laughter. A small crowd gathered around us as I stared horrified at my prize. "Sorry son," the carny said to me with sympathy. "Who else wants to test their fate with The Grab Bag!"

Throwing the decal away in disgust, i marched off to one of the rides, followed by friends gleefully chortling at my expense. For the rest of the evening if you wanted to get a good laugh, all you had to say was, "bounce, bounce, bounce."



But as the evening went on i regretted throwing away my prize. i secretly wanted to run back to the garbage can and fish it out. From then on, at random periods of my life, the words
bounce, bounce, bounce would enter my thoughts and i would think about that decal and wish that i had kept it and ironed it onto a t-shirt. The words were etched into my soul, like a psychic brand. I would imagine wearing it, and wonder what i would need in order to make the words come to life. i did indeed want to bounce bounce bounce, and i wanted everyone to see me doing it.


Friday, February 12, 2010

FUCK ME HARD

i am the subject of a post on the absolutely divine Miss D's blog: http://missds.blogspot.com/2010/02/boobie-faggot-has-breast-fetish.html

It even has a poll!!!

i am so honored i am just giggling and flouncing like a school girl!!!